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General => Simple Insanity => Topic started by: Gary Millsaps on November 19, 2011, 10:05:47 PM

Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Gary Millsaps on November 19, 2011, 10:05:47 PM
FAA To Ban Plane Crashes
OCTOBER 30, 2011 | ISSUE 47•43

WASHINGTON—In what officials are calling "a much-needed policy shift," the Federal Aviation Administration announced this weekend that it would ban all plane crashes. "After a careful review of flight data from the past 25 years, we've determined that customers, pilots, and the airlines themselves would benefit significantly from a strictly enforced no-plane-crash policy," said FAA administrator Randy Babbitt, adding that pilots involved in fiery plane wrecks could face a steep fine or even suspension. "The practice of crashing an airliner into an ocean or mountain will no longer be tolerated. American consumers deserve better." According to industry sources, most commercial airlines are planning to fit in as many crashes as possible between now and Jan. 1, when the ban officially goes into effect.
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Salvatore Barcia on November 20, 2011, 06:52:36 AM
Ahh man, no fair! So you mean to tell me that I was encouraged to crash into mountains this whole time?

We should start a petition for this one too...  


Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Tom Seeley on November 20, 2011, 07:19:33 AM
In a rapid response to the U.S. announcement, DGAC, the French Civil Aviation Authority announced that it was in direct opposition to the new U.S. policy, primarily because they are the French and are basically against everything. DGAC went on to say that all commercial pilots who believed it was their given right to crash would be welcome to fly under French authority. No experience necessary, and Airbus pilots are especially preferred.

 
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Isak Moebius on November 21, 2011, 04:51:54 PM
Well seeing as this is sourced from The Onion is BS. In case any of you were unaware The Onion is a fake and untrue news source.
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Rahul Parkar on November 21, 2011, 06:01:08 PM
In case you weren't aware, this was posted as a piece of humor, not a factual piece of news...

And Tom, let's not crack jokes at the French... They've had enough abuse from us already... Let's get working on the Italians instead

Cheers!
Rahul
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Gary Millsaps on November 21, 2011, 06:49:13 PM
Quote from: Isak Moebius
Well seeing as this is sourced from The Onion is BS. In case any of you were unaware The Onion is a fake and untrue news source.
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Cameron Negrete on November 21, 2011, 09:34:47 PM
BACKUP, I NEED BACKUP!  THIS FISH IS HUGE!
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Don Desfosse on November 21, 2011, 10:30:17 PM
Best piece of humor in this thread is that Mr. Moebius is now apparently a fried onion!
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Steven Bartlett on November 24, 2011, 05:58:34 AM
Quote from: Tom Seeley
In a rapid response to the U.S. announcement, DGAC, the French Civil Aviation Authority announced that it was in direct opposition to the new U.S. policy, primarily because they are the French and are basically against everything. DGAC went on to say that all commercial pilots who believed it was their given right to crash would be welcome to fly under French authority. No experience necessary, and Airbus pilots are especially preferred.

 

The French are against anything the United States does, how soon they forget if it wasn't for us, they would be Germany!
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Tom Seeley on November 24, 2011, 06:27:08 AM
[img]http://www.ltaviation.com/images/fail.jpg\\\" border=\\\"0\\\" class=\\\"linked-image\\\" /]
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Bruce Clingan on November 24, 2011, 12:45:47 PM
In the absence of a like button Tom, I will simply say LIKE!!
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Harold Rutila on November 25, 2011, 01:44:48 PM
Quote from: Tom Seeley
[img]http://www.ltaviation.com/images/fail.jpg\\\" border=\\\"0\\\" class=\\\"linked-image\\\" /]
LOL
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Matthew Jessick on November 26, 2011, 10:54:46 AM
Now I am in a dilemma of conflicting requirements:

FAA 7110.65 says: Don't let them crash,
My wife (often) says:   "You are late for dinner: Tell them all to crash!"
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Don Desfosse on November 26, 2011, 12:26:33 PM
You must not have been married long enough to know the rule -- your wife is always right even though she's rarely right.....  "Airliner 123, dinner's on the table and my wife is yelling at me.  Crash at pilot's discretion, no further ATC available, radar service terminated, frequency change approved, Cya!"
Title: Typical, typical...
Post by: Charan Kumar on November 30, 2011, 04:24:22 PM
Quote from: Don Desfosse
You must not have been married long enough to know the rule -- your wife is always right even though she's rarely right.....  "Airliner 123, dinner's on the table and my wife is yelling at me.  Crash at pilot's discretion, no further ATC available, radar service terminated, frequency change approved, Cya!"
Or when in confusion, use the following 2 rules, they always work as they have only one outcome which ever way you apply it!!

Rule #1, your wife's always right
Rule #1, When your wife's wrong, refer to Rule #1

(Shamelessly borrowed from other sources and grossly abused to suit the current situation   )