I just don't understand the "it's the pilots responsibility, end of story" mentality.
Pilots aren't required to undergo training. Pilots aren't required to know what any of the VATSIM tracking tools are. Expecting them to know where enroute airspace is may be easier than others, but it's a joint responsibility. It's a game and our job to provide a customer service -- we work for the pilots. If you're doing ATC, you should want to do that, and if you want to do that, you should be willing to send a contact-me.
And if you want to talk sub-enroute airspace, those boundaries are not documented anywhere for a pilot, so expecting them to know where your approach airspace starts is an unrealistic expectation.