The funniest things heard while controlling/flying

Christos Kokkinomagoulos · « **Reply #30 on:** October 26, 2013, 09:20:24 PM »

All of the following humorous events happened today on FTW_CTR's frequency.

Another aircraft (A320) was inbound DFW from the NE, the pilot failed to request deviations for weather. He entered a really bad storm cell which caused him to spin out of control and lose about 5000 ft (he was too high on the arrival anyway ).
After he was vectored and cleared for the ILS approach, he declared a go-around over the freq right at minimums. The second approach was successful (or that's how it looked on my radar) until he ran off the runway into the grass by the taxiway.

He then sent this text message:

[!--quoteo--][div class=\\\'quotetop\\\']QUOTE [/div][div class=\\\'quotemain\\\'][!--quotec--]UALxxx: really not a fan of airbuses!!!![/quote]

And then he disappeared from my scope .

Kenneth Bambach · « **Reply #31 on:** October 28, 2013, 12:18:30 AM »

Had a guy the other day on text tell me that he was "airborned" as he lifted off the r/w on takeoff. Not sure if his plane may have given birth to another plane on take off, but I wasn't going to ask......

James Anthony · « **Reply #32 on:** October 30, 2013, 05:27:55 PM »

Had this last night, after i landed and requested taxi instruction's...

XXX_GND: Taxi via P, B....
Me: Taxi via Peanut Butter XXX6012

Laughter on frequency......

Evan Waldron · « **Reply #33 on:** November 15, 2013, 07:16:53 PM »

Just seen on UNICOM:

[!--quoteo--][div class=\\\'quotetop\\\']QUOTE [/div][div class=\\\'quotemain\\\'][!--quotec--]A/C 1: turning to intercept glideslope kdtw 21L
A/C 2: CLEAR THE WAY!!!
A/C 1: intercepted glideslope
A/C 1: 6nm out kdtw landing 21L
A/C 2: I'm going to land right through you if you do not clear the way
A/C 1: were landing different runways
A/C 2: Oh wait...21L...not 22L... My bad. Disregard
A/C 1: yeah...[/quote]

James Anthony · « **Reply #34 on:** November 25, 2013, 07:06:09 PM »

Saw this while flying in CZUL CTR!

XXX:8731 YES MON HOME!(Think he meant Mom)
CZUL CTR: XXX: 8731: wrong chat hahah....!
Me: LOL!!!!!!!

James Anthony · « **Reply #35 on:** December 17, 2013, 08:45:51 PM »

Had this happen a few days ago while on final into IAH

ME: TWR AALXXX ILS 15R
TWR: AALXXX Cleared to Land 15R, call the ball.
ME: *Laughter* Rgr, we'll call the ball, btw you got the from the Philly TWR Video didn't you?
TWR: Yep, being meaning to use it...
ME: I dont see how IAH works , no water near the airport..
TWR: Let's just say i put some...

Mark Hubbert · « **Reply #36 on:** December 18, 2013, 01:59:51 PM »

I have been amazed at the funny posts that people put about others on UNICOM never thinking that I would get a good chuckle myself after witnessing a UNICOM post. Saw this today while flying KDFW _ KSAT as AAL683

XXX___ - Radio Check
AAL683 - READ you loud and clear

Bradley Grafelman · « **Reply #37 on:** December 18, 2013, 04:34:51 PM »

Quote from: Mark Hubbert

XXX___ - Radio Check
AAL683 - READ you loud and clear

Reminds me of this oldie-but-goodie from the VATSIM forums:

[!--quoteo--][div class=\\\'quotetop\\\']QUOTE [/div][div class=\\\'quotemain\\\'][!--quotec--][07:57:21] [...]: Cairo tower good morning radio check with [...]
[07:57:29] HECC_CTR: [...], font is crisp and clear[/quote]

It also reminds me of the time a text-only pilot asked me to "say again." I paused, stared at my scope in disbelief for a few seconds, pressed the Up arrow key and Enter, and was met with a "roger."

Sam Engler · « **Reply #38 on:** December 19, 2013, 11:20:29 PM »

A lot of people are visiting controllers within VATUSA, so obviously, there may be the occasional location confusion. Well, I learned that even our beloved VATUSA1 isn't immune from it.

JAX_APP: RPA3257, Welcome to Boston, turn... I said Boston, didn't I? Welcome to Jacksonville!

Just proves we're all human, even the top people make a small mistake once in a while.

Don Desfosse · « **Reply #39 on:** December 20, 2013, 06:24:56 AM »

Oops! Busted!

Zachary Beard · « **Reply #40 on:** December 25, 2013, 08:39:36 PM »

Had a good one tonight (Christmas evening):

Pilot: "Albuquerque Center, I gotta go offline, the Scrooge wants me in at 7 in the morning."

Cheers
ZY

Justin A. Martin · « **Reply #41 on:** December 30, 2013, 07:21:36 PM »

I just had a good one on Washington Center. N12345 (callsign changed) departed a small airport in my airspace for the destination of another small airport in my airspace about 120nm away. He took off, and about 10-15 minutes later I was announcing to him that I was singing off. Here's what happened:

Me: "Nxxxx, unfortunately I'm going to be signing offline at this time. Radar services terminated, frequency change is approved, have a very Happy New Years and we'll catch ya next time around."

N12345: "Hey, no problem man, thanks for at least getting me off tonight." ... 5 second pause while still keyed... "oh wow, I just said that? haha... well Happy New Years!!"

Gave me a bit of a chuckle... I think he realized the pun before I did

JM

Don Desfosse · « **Reply #42 on:** February 03, 2014, 11:32:27 PM »

This one from a Fedex MD11, having departed KBOS for KMEM, pretty much over JFK...

FDX1273: Boston Center, Fedex 1273 Heavy, we'd like to return to Boston. We forgot our cargo.

I haven't laughed that hard controlling on VATSIM in a while!

Mark Hubbert · « **Reply #43 on:** February 15, 2014, 09:39:43 PM »

Not sure if this one will top any of the others but I found some humor in it.
This evening while flying as AAL683 from KMIA to KORD I received instructions that were impossible. Having ATC services just about the entire flight, I was listening to all of the traffic sort of waiting for something. So I am at cruise at FL350 when the controller sends me a message. He was so busy talking to other aircraft that he could not call me.

AAL683 Rwy 27 taxi via S. J, J2 K2

I could not resist, I requested a progressive taxi from FL350

Don Desfosse · « **Reply #44 on:** March 27, 2014, 11:49:44 AM »

(Hopefully) Only on VATSIM

CTR: AUA88, your flight plan says you're going to Boston, but your flight planned route will bring you someplace in Europe if you fly that. Can you confirm your destination?
AUA88: I'm going to someplace in Europe.
CTR: Anyplace in particular, sir?

TWR: United 123, with the amount of wreckage you left behind and the amount of real estate the wreckage is on, both crash fire rescue and the Coast Guard have been notified.

TWR: Cactus 1459, use caution, burning wreckage at the departure end of the runway, wind 290 at 8, Runway 27, cleared to land.