The funniest things heard while controlling/flying

Michael Dugan · « **Reply #60 on:** July 27, 2014, 09:20:49 AM »

Quote from: Tony Jeppesen

Happened about 3 weeks ago while working SEA_CTR

DAL221: "Seattle Center DAL221 Requesting IFR Clearance to Seattle"

ME: "DAL221 state location?"

DAL221"Bozeman Int'l"

ME: "DAL221 your outside my airspace Salt Lake Center is offline you can monitor unicom on 122.800"

DAL221 "Roger thank you, by the way I don't know how to read charts, See ya in 20 minutes "

It's not unusual for Boston to get requests from pilots in N90...but I've had on different occasions pilots requesting ATC from Philadelphia, Montreal, and somewhere off the coast of Delaware.

Jesse Kovacs · « **Reply #61 on:** July 27, 2014, 12:01:42 PM »

Quote from: Michael Dugan

It's not unusual for Boston to get requests from pilots in N90...but I've had on different occasions pilots requesting ATC from Philadelphia, Montreal, and somewhere off the coast of Delaware.

Yeah, we've had our fair share of pilots requesting clearance out of NY airports, too. I also love that people think because the airport is in Ohio, it's automatically us. Can't tell you how many times I get calls from planes on the ground at CVG.

Don Desfosse · « **Reply #62 on:** September 01, 2014, 09:59:30 PM »

Right after he puts up .break:
XXX_APP: I've had *****4***** arrivals tonight... I'm spent!
[unknown]: That's what she said!

Eric Kollat · « **Reply #63 on:** September 05, 2014, 08:25:15 PM »

More like the funniest thing heard as a pilot but close

[!--quoteo--][div class=\\\'quotetop\\\']QUOTE [/div][div class=\\\'quotemain\\\'][!--quotec--]XXX284: So this "CTR" controller gave me 38nm to go from FL340 to 13k
XXX284: Hold on while I turn off the engines[/quote]

Don Desfosse · « **Reply #64 on:** September 05, 2014, 11:24:08 PM »

LOL.... I've actually done that.... (shut down engines, that is, after a slam-dunk approach)

Don Desfosse · « **Reply #65 on:** October 06, 2014, 10:28:18 PM »

"Sorry, sir, I fly a radar scope, not an airplane. I don't know how to run your FMC."

Camden Bruno · « **Reply #66 on:** October 07, 2014, 01:39:52 PM »

Quote from: Don Desfosse

"Sorry, sir, I fly a radar scope, not an airplane. I don't know how to run your FMC."

Classic

Gregory Bogosian · « **Reply #67 on:** November 21, 2014, 05:36:58 PM »

Uhhhhhh... Seattle center... I cant find the Bay Visual Approach in my FMC...

Evan Waldron · « **Reply #68 on:** November 28, 2014, 07:28:45 PM »

One of the guys in our ARTCC is the CEO of a VA, so when one of his airline's flights was approaching he decided to play a practical joke.

XXX117: XXX_TWR XXX117 with you for 18L
Me: XXX117 good evening runway 18L wind 160 at 12 cleared to land

He's now on a three mile final

Me: XXX117 go around, fowl on the runway
XXX117: Uhhh, say again?
Me: XXX117 go around, fowl on the runway
XXX117: *in a very depressed voice* going around, XXX117

I send him back to APP, and see him climb a few hundred feet. Next time I looked, he was descending at a speed of 130kts (a stall, most likely), and at about 500AGL he disconnected. Welcome to VATSIM

Brighton McMinn · « **Reply #69 on:** November 28, 2014, 08:30:14 PM »

Quote from: Evan Waldron

One of the guys in our ARTCC is the CEO of a VA, so when one of his airline's flights was approaching he decided to play a practical joke.

XXX117: XXX_TWR XXX117 with you for 18L
Me: XXX117 good evening runway 18L wind 160 at 12 cleared to land

He's now on a three mile final

Me: XXX117 go around, fowl on the runway
XXX117: Uhhh, say again?
Me: XXX117 go around, fowl on the runway
XXX117: *in a very depressed voice* going around, XXX117

I send him back to APP, and see him climb a few hundred feet. Next time I looked, he was descending at a speed of 130kts (a stall, most likely), and at about 500AGL he disconnected. Welcome to VATSIM

Doesn't sound like a very warm welcome to me...

Mark Hubbert · « **Reply #70 on:** December 11, 2014, 12:45:47 PM »

Today while flying. I was taxing away from the gate at KLGA, stopped the aircraft to figure out where I wanted to go when I heard Bing bong with the following message:
LGA_TWR " Just came online if you would like clearance",
I responded back in text "Sure, let me finish my cabin announcements
LGA_TWR "ROFL"

After departing I noticed that his ATC message stated "Serving ZNy Sectors providing services to all ZNY including PHL etc.

I sent him a courtesy FYI message and when I was done recieved a Thank you.

My next line was cya later, Autopilot is set gotta go serve drinks, one of the flightcrew called in sick today.

Zachary Beard · « **Reply #71 on:** January 05, 2015, 11:49:49 AM »

UAL123: "We need to level off at FL340." (previously climbing to FL380)

DEN_CTR: "UAL123, maintain FL340. Verify that it's for performance?"

UAL123: "Yeah... I just can't get it up."

DEN_CTR: "Sounds like a personal problem."

Cheers
ZY

Dhruv Kalra · « **Reply #72 on:** January 06, 2015, 12:32:24 PM »

Quote from: Zachary Beard

UAL123: "We need to level off at FL340." (previously climbing to FL380)

DEN_CTR: "UAL123, maintain FL340. Verify that it's for performance?"

UAL123: "Yeah... I just can't get it up."

DEN_CTR: "Sounds like a personal problem."

Cheers
ZY

On a similar vein from a past FNO:

MSP_13_CTR: "DAL469, are you able the WILDD3 arrival this evening?"
DAL469: "Uhhh yeah we can get it up."
MSP_13_CTR: "DAL469, pretty sure that wasn't the question, but cleared direct WILDD, WILDD3 arrival to Minneapolis."

Cody Cochran · « **Reply #73 on:** January 21, 2015, 05:16:54 PM »

[!--quoteo--][div class=\\\'quotetop\\\']QUOTE [/div][div class=\\\'quotemain\\\'][!--quotec--]got a call from a Virgin in Atlanta[/quote]

That was the funny part.

Chris McGee · « **Reply #74 on:** January 21, 2015, 09:05:20 PM »

ZKC: You appear to be turning southbound, do you have the airport in sight?
Pilot: Negative, but we have it on TCAS.

ZKC: Change to advisory approved. Good day.
Pilot: We can not seem to get a hold of anyone on 122.8